


Wrap my soul in bandages

by PipeDreams



Series: NIN Verse [7]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 00:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PipeDreams/pseuds/PipeDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Go ahead and cut me. I can't even feel it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrap my soul in bandages

"I'm asking whether you've seen him. Is that so hard to answer?"

"You're a shitty brother you know that. You come home from wherever it is and then grill me about Tommy. Shouldn't you be asking how I'm doing?"

"You were the drunk ass calling me about him."

"So, you've seen him then?" Adam asked casually, the slight downward turn of his mouth indicating otherwise.

“No. He made it clear he could take care of himself.” 

“And you didn’t push?”

“Tommy is right you know. He’s a grown man and -”

“You didn’t see him that day Neil. He looked wrecked.”

“Then why aren’t you there with him?” 

“I...”

“What? Too busy to make time?” Neil glared at Adam.

“Fuck you Neil. You know that’s not why.”

Neil ran his fingers through his hair, tugging hard. “I’m tired of being the middle man Adam. You guys need to settle this shit between you on your own.”

“I didn’t ask you to -”

“Bullshit. You knew I’d come back.”

“He doesn’t want to see me Neil. You think I didn’t try? He’s been avoiding my calls, and when I go to his apartment, he’s never around.”

“I talked to Sutan. Tommy... You need to stop him Adam.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Adam’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“He’s been sleeping around. A lot.” Neil looked closely at his brother, waiting for his reaction.

Adam’s shoulders tensed even as he replied, “ _So_?”

“So he’s not being safe okay!”

“And how the fuck would you even know that?!” 

“Word got round to Sutan. A different guy every time. And Tommy half sloshed? Sutan thinks he doesn’t give a damn who he fucks anymore.”

“So why isn’t Sutan doing anything?”

“You think he didn’t try? He doesn’t want to push Tommy to the point that the guy runs away from him too.”

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Adam kicked a nearby chair hard. The thought of Tommy giving himself to countless men made him clench his fists tight, fingernails digging deep.  _Tommy belongs to him dammit! Tommy belongs to him? What about Sauli? What about him?_  Adam kicked the chair again and again. The pain in his toes distracted him from the tight feeling in his chest. 

Neil continued to stare at him.

“I need to see him Neil.”

Neil nodded. “Yes, and when you do, talk to him. Don’t let him walk away again.”

_Still you lead me and I follow._

_All of your back up to your chin._

_Over to the tip of your switchblade._

_As you pull it out and stick it in._

 

"Tommy, we need to talk. Please. Call me. Fuck Tommy, you have to stop avoiding me. Just. Call.  _Please_." Tommy replayed the voice mail one more time, needing to hear Adam's voice. 

"Not yet Adam, not just yet." Tommy whispered, hugging himself tight as he rocked slowly back and forth.

 

_(Twist, Twist, Twist) we can go a little deeper._

_(Twist, Twist, Twist) I'm wearing these chains._

_(Twist, Twist, Twist) you make it hurt real good._

_(Twist, Twist, Twist) I love the pain._

"Who are you running from?" Will, or was it Bill, asked him.

Tommy looked over at his companion for the night, admiring the play of soft light on the man's skin and muscles. Streaks of cum covered the man's abdomen. Tommy stretched his arm, fingers trailing the mess he had made on Bill. Bill's stomach muscles twitched slightly before he grabbed Tommy's wrist in a light grip. 

"You didn't answer my question."

"Look Bill -"

"Will."

"Yeah Will whatever." Tommy barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Since when were one-night stands so chatty? "This was nice, but maybe you should go."

"Stop being a douche. I get that this was a one time thing. But the look on your face when you came. You're hiding. If sex with strangers is your form of escape, you need to stop running. I've been there alright. It doesn't help."

"Look man, I don't need your advice alright." 

"You didn't insist on a condom earlier."

Tommy jumped off the bed in one swift move, fists clenched tightly hy his sides. "What is your problem?!"

"I saw your pain. I know how it is. I've lost someone too."

"Fuck! I didn't lose anyone dammit! Fucking great! I already have a therapist. I don't need another one!" Tommy shook slightly, anger swirling inside him in waves. He needed to hit something so bad. "You have to go," he gritted out. 

Will reached out for him instead. "You're shaking."

"Dammit, don't you understand English? Go!" Tommy swatted Will's hand away even as the man reached for him again. He hit out his fists, aiming to hit flesh, needing to let the anger out. 

"Tommy stop." Will's voice said calmly as he held on to Tommy tight, hugging him close. Tommy could not move. "It'll be okay, shhhh. Let it out. Just let it out."

 _Was he crying?_  There was something wet on his cheeks. Tommy struggled to get out of the forced embrace but that only made Will hold him tighter. Tommy could hear someone wailing.  _Did someone die?_

_Wrap my soul in bandages._

_I'm tired of this war._

_Go ahead and cut me._

_I can't even feel it anymore._

And then there was peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics taken from NIN's ''Ringfinger''


End file.
